Sunday, September 10, 2006
Help!
OK, I need some help. I am losing control of my children, especially at church, and I need some ideas. We had Stake Conference today, and I was worried about the kids sitting still for two hours, so I went to the store and bought snacks, and some 2 Euro toys to help the kids be quiet. Well Steve says that is ridiculous that I buy them new toys for everything even if they are only 2 Euros. And he says that from where he sits on the stand at church on regular Sundays I am the only one that brings snacks for the kids. So....I want to know how to keep my kids quiet at church, and am I the only one feeding children in Sacrament Meeting? I want to hear all of your opinions! Moms, Dads, Single, Married, people with young children, people with grown children. Let me have it!
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13 comments:
Well, Teresa, my best advice is to let Daddy Steve have a turn whenEVER possible! That's how I handle it. That could be tricky, with him being on the stand, though, eh? Well, I, for one am not opposed to snacks. Or toys. But advice I got at Samantha's baby shower was "never let your kids' feet touch the floor during sacrament mtg. Even toddlers. Just let them know they need to stay quiet, on the bench." hmm... I'm curious as to how to implement that one. If you have luck, let me know!
hmmmm. I always thought your children were well behaved during sacrament....
We have always taken the living scriptures coloring books and crayons and pencils and then after sacrament they could quietly play. These were in the church bag and were only used at church. You can also order quiet card games from an lds store. We had one with a matching game that the kids loved.
Not sure I am able to give advice on behavior during sacrament but on the food I know we keep snacks in the car for both on the way to church and on the way home. Graham crackers, rice cakes..those kinds of things. It seems to keep them satisfied until we get home.
A few years ago I remember there was a lady in the ward who literally brought lunch for her children and after sacrament they would turn and kneel in front of the pew and have lunch.
guesse it comes down to what your comfortable with....
Not sure that helped at all. Good luck!
My kids are not necessarily quiet at church, but I have figured out some things that have helped. I agree with the Olson Clan that it is good to have things to do that only get to come out at church. We have a few books and things that are like that. My kids do a lot of coloring too. I went and bought each child their own box of crayons and that way there is no fighting or discussion at all- everyone just has their own. As Zac has gotten older- I usually let him pick a few small toys himself to put in the bag and he looks forward to playing with those. I will send you an email about some other ideas I have heard of but never tried so I don't write a book on your comments.
Interesting about the snacks. I was just thinking about this. I think that Davin is getting kind of old to still need snacks at church, but I don't know when to break him. I will say that EVERY person I know with small kids brings snacks to church- in my ward. As far as keeping quiet- They always color or write. Kea loves doing puzzles. I bring her big wooden ones. Annoying to carry, but they keep her quiet for a long time. They don't play with toys as much because Davin always wants to make the car sound, or gun sound or whatever. I also LOVE the aquadoodle or any book that I haven't seen them look at in a while. For me the trick is switching it up each week. Someimes a book of pictures of family members, sometimes a new writing pad. I don't buy the stuff new, but just throw something different in the bag. Wow. Way too long.
A binkie, one for Steven, one for Nathan and one for Jacob. I am sure Steve will love that! ;)
I'm suprised that no one else has suggested a muzzle. That should work every time.
I sat on the bench alone with you kids for many years, it will be interesting to hear what Dad says he saw. We did have some rules:
No toys or food out until after the sacrament (I think because then you have to argue to get it away from them during the sacrament, and it gives at least a minimal expectation).
No food for those out of the nursery (I am sure that is unless it was a very bad day).
The only time pure quiet and still was required was during the sacrament.
Time out on a chair at home (practice) for those who really couldn't control themselves.
We know people who practiced sitting quietly for x amount of minutes daily or periodically so it wouldn't be such a shock on Sunday.
Practicing reverence is one of the things that FHE is good for.
I like the idea of rewards - in school if there is an unruly child they are on a 10 or 15 minute clock. Every 10 or 15 minutes they earn a sticker for being good, at the end of the day, they are rewarded according to how many stickers they have. Of course, the standard of behavior has to be age appropriate.
I do believe in taking quiet activities.
Have fun with your kids!
Have you considered a hearty dose of children's tylenol? That makes kids quiet right?
Some more... We also do no snakcs or toys until after the sacrament ("when those boys go sit down"). That way the kids have at least 15 minutes of quiet behavior, and they have learned that sacrament is the most important part. We have tried the sitting on a chair thing- Davin thinks it's funny. So now, on Saturday when he's asking for something- a popsicle, cookie, etc. - we tell him that we'll decide after we see how he acts in Sacarament meeting. Then it's a nice threat while we are in the room. I would appreciate you getting this all figured out though. Once the baby comes, Brian will be on ward visits adn I too will be alone on my bench. Although I have the luxury of cheating and sending the new baby with mom.
Usually we bring snacks, especially when Sarah was pregnant. We just found that it is better if you take the snacks out of their originial packaging and put them in a plastic baggie that is not as noisy. Let me know if this helps. Good luck.
Duct tape
Um, I don't know. But I am very happy to have heard all of the advice and opinions for when my turn comes.
A couple things though - I remember Kamber telling me that her mom would "play" church with them on the week days. They would pretend to be in sacrament meeting, etc. I liked that. I for one, right now, don't see much wrong with having some snacks and some toys for three young boys trying to sit through 2 whole hours of stake conference. We might all do a little bit better with paying attention if we had something to occupy our hands and a little drink or snack.
Hey Teresa,
Wow! You have such a great family. There are lots of great ideas here and it seems like most of them work for the ones giving advice. What works for some kids may not work for others so you are just going to have to keeping trying different things. I have found over the years that my strategies have changed as the kids get older. I am no where near to being an expert - your mom is probably closer to that. What I do know is that you are doing much better than you think. Sometimes I look at my little family on Sundays and wonder why my kids have to be the only ones making a ruckus. Even my newly baptized "angel" has been threatened on occasion with time out in the hallway. I always thought my kids were the worst ones until I started talking to other mothers and found out that they had the same problems with their kids. Over all, we are just doing the best we can. I have always thought toys and snacks were a great idea. I still give Daniel and Emma snacks every week. Some might say they are too old for that - I say as long as they're quiet - let them snack away! You have to remember that for at least 1 hour on Sundays, you are a single mom taking care of three active little boys. It's easy for Steve to sit on the stand and calmly "observe" all the "problems" that he thinks are going on in your pew. Ask him if he has any suggestions that might help you rather than pointing out the myriad of perceived problems. My advice is just to keep plugging on. Don't be frustrated because the kids are being wiggle worms - that is just the way it is.
As far as some ideas for helping out during sacrament, I always let the kids pick out what they want to bring. Make it a fun thing to do either before church or on Saturday night. Let them pick what snacks they want. I put it all in a special bag that I only take to church. I don't allow the kids to take toys that make noise or toys that cause noise like cars or trucks (kids making vrooming noises). I always found that crayons and coloring books work well and picture books. Sticker books are a big hit too. Even if you are not able to listen to the talks because one of the boys is sitting in your lap looking at a book, rest assured that they are learning valuable lessons. I'm still trying to figure out exactly what they are learning, but I do know that they are learning.
Also, Daniel and Emma know that they have to wait until after the sacrament is passed before they can get all their stuff out. This has worked out really well for us since the kids are usually quiet or at least civil during the first 20 minutes of the meeting anyway. Well, I know I have just published my first book here - sorry if I seem to go on and on.
Don't be too hard on yourself and remember that the boys really aren't as bad as you think. Hope this helps.
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